Just an update...

Well, I'm not exactly sure what to write about today.... I feel really depressed lately and its just hard for me to accept things that I need to figure out. Like the reason I'm so upset. Why am I upset? I dont even know myself. I guess I'm a little upset because I know that I cant expect anything from my dad, and my birthday is this sunday... I just dont understand why I cant get over the fact my dad will probably never be a dad. Another reason is that many of my friends parents dislike me. My friends parents think I'm weird, I'm dumb, I'm a druggy, I'm a lesbian, I'm a drinker, and just an over all bad influenc, and I'm not. Just because I'm different, my friends cant come over, my friends cant hang out with me, I can have sleep overs. I can basically only spend time with my friends at school, and most of the time its only for 10 minutes everyday. Another reason is my trust. I just dont understand why I dont trust some of the most important people in my life. I guess its because some of the most important people (or people who should be the most important people) constantly let me down, so I never have any idea if I can trust. I trust my mom, and I trust my brother, but it's hard to trust beyond that. I wish I could trust my boyfriend, he is my whole world, my everything, but no matter how hard I try, I cant trust him. I'm constantly thinking "oh, he would be better off with so-and-so" or "since he's better off with so-and-so, then he must be cheating on me with them..." that kinda ties into that one girl who told me he was a cheater like 3 times. I dont want to believe her because shes done this before to others and been wrong, but she was my best friend at the time. It's odd though that I would even consider her words though because I've known Legend for way longer then I had known her and I know for a fact how much he hates cheaters. It's just... hard to see. Lots of girls like him, but I dont think he sees, or he sees and chooses to ignore. It just makes me feel skeptical and paranoid, which is dumb. Maybe I'm crazy.... Last night I had a really great dream, it was very perfect and peaceful and it made me so happy, and I wish I had never woken up (but not like I wanted to die) I had broken up with Legend, and over several months I kept getting heavier and heavier... I didn't understand why, and after several months of getting larger, I had a pain in my stomach and had to go to the hospital... When I arrived there, they told me I was in labor and needed to push, and I did, it hurt, but out came two babies. Two baby girls. It was terrible, and wonderful because they looked like a perfect mix of Legend and I, but it was horrible because I had decided from the mom they told me I was pregnant, that I wasnt going to tell Legend. So for the rest of the dream, I raised the two,beautiful baby girls, that was Legend and I......... well thats enough of that weird depressing stuff... soo I'll update again, whenever.

Oh nothing... Just the first week of school after winter break!

So, it's friday, January 6th, 2012, the first week of school this year, and jesus and its super boring. First of all school started on wenesday, so I'm all out of whack and second of all, tired. Not only that but with the new year, we got our classes switched around and now almost none of my classes have any of my friends in it, so I'm friendless and super tired. Blah, highschool is the best 4 years of your life! Obviously. So for the next week and a half our school is hosting Austrailian exchange students. Today I had to sit next to two of them and they were flirting with me the whole class. It was really odd and a little bit annoying considering I have a boyfriend, and at the time I was trying to complete an assignment. Agh. I must go! I shall post again soon!

I'm finally home!

Home at last, thank god. I had a terribly turbulent flight back, but it was worth it. I'm home!!! Tomorrow Legend is taking me for a big fancy date for our 8 month anniversary~ I'm totally derpin' out. I can't wait!
So like, I've been wondering how many people actually read my blog. I kinda wanna find out... soooo like, follow it for me? It would make my day a lot better~ Hehe.
Been spending most of the morning downloading and installing all of my sims3 games and Sims Medevil games onto my computer so I don't have to use the disk. It's so much more convenient, and I don't have to worry about losing or damaging any of my precocious game disks! :D

I'm a game nerd. DERP.


xoxo,



A happier Emma <3