So, since I last posted, chistmas hasn't been that bad. I'm glad, because before I was on the edge. So, since my computers fixed, I've decided that it's high-time I get away from everyone and everything by, well.... Playing games~ My games include:
The sims3
Kingdom of Loathing (KoL)
Bella Sara (HELLSTOTHEYES hehe, jk)
And various Facebook games.
:D Winning!
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Christmas
So my Christmas break began like this;
*Crying mother* "Byebye Emma... Joe... I love you..", "I love you too mom.... do we have to go?", "Yes, but it'll be over in a few days, it'll be alright."
After a long flight all day, my brother and I arrived in the RDU airport, and swiftly picked up by our father. Instead of staying at his terrifyingly mean girlfriends house (like this summer), we were then driven to our old house. All the beds and such were set up and we unpacked, cleaned and got settled in. Then the next day, dad actually became a dad, and set up the tree and outside lights for decorating and festive holiday cheer. This has never happened before. "Maybe he's changed for the better?" Joe asked me. I was skeptical, and with good reason. After this, though we were promised only very minimal visitation to his crazy, terrifying and bitchy girlfriends house, there we were. Then we had to have dinner with them. It wasn't that bad, because we went from their house to my aunts and I had space away from them, so they could do their own thing. That night I slept over with my cousins, aunt and uncle, and it was very enjoyable. The next day I woke up and had an awesome day with my aunt and female cousin. We got our nails done, and afterwards got several rounds of sushi. Most people think it's disgusting, but that's okay, the more raw salmon and rice for me, the better. It was delicious and awesome and I enjoyed myself immensely. In between these good times, though, were my dads constant restrictions and angry remarks, controlling comments, and his girlfriends way of telling me she thinks I'm a bitch and that I should die. "I'm the dad and I say this is the way to do this. I don't care if you don't like this, I want to so you have to!", and from his girlfriend; "So, you can't say Hi huh? Oh? You didn't hear me? Well thanks a lot. Hi EMMA. It's great to see you." Thank you terrifying crazy ass psycho girlfriend. I don't ever hate anyone, but if I had to pick, she would be on that list. After all, all I did was say nothing, because if I say anything at anytime I'm automatically disrespectful. Better not to say anything at all right? This was Christmas eve and as a Nordic custom, my fathers girlfriends family opens their presents. We were forced to go to their Christmas, so I brought presents. I got one for each, and we all eventually sat down around the tree. Because my dads girlfriend found it necessary, I handed out presents. I gave around 7 to her youngest daughter, 6 to her second daughter, 6 to her youngest son, and 3 to her oldest son, 4 to my father, 6 to her, 2 to my brother, and one, for me. The kids loved their presents from me, and I felt pretty cool, except for the fact my brother and I had less presents then my dad, and on top of that, I only got one. And the stuff my brother got was complete crap. He got a shock pen, and a drawing on old loose leaf paper, and I opened my one present, from my father, a drawing book and some pencils. Not what I wanted. At all. I was going to cry. As all the kids played with there presents, showing them off, Joe folded a paper airplane with the drawing and shocked himself with the pen as I awkwardly sketched. But that was okay, I thought, because tomorrows Christmas! I'm sure Santa has brought me something awesome right? And I've got to have more presents at home too, right?
The next morning, I arose and woke up my brother and dad. Dad cursed angrily upon my cheery wake up call and went outside to smoke a few. I heard Joe call from the living room and I came in. "Where are the presents?!" He asked, confused. We sat for a while, waiting for dad. He finally came back in and sat down. I asked him why there were the same amount of presents under the tree as last night. Two. One for me and one for Joe. I asked him why Santa hadn't come, and why he still ate the cookies and milk even though he didn't bring anything. Dad pointed out that he had filled our stockings, but you see, my dad had the bigger stocking and our stockings were hardly filled. So we got our stockings and then opened our two presents. I got a stupid design book I didn't want, and Joe got a thrift store book on guns that was 40 years out of date. Poor Joe didn't know what to make of this. I braved it one more time, and asked dad why Santa only brought candy, no presents. His response was: "Well, Santa didn't have the time or money, so he couldn't." Okay, great. You've just now pretty much said to your ten year old sons face that Santa fucking hates Me and him. Way to go dad. Then we went to see a movie. On Christmas. I didn't want to see a movie in the first place, but not only did we have to see a movie, it was a movie I did not want to see, and the only person in my family that wanted to see it was pretty much my dad. So I roughed it, knowing afterwards, from what I was told, I could enjoy a nice Christmas lunch with my family, at a local Chinese buffet. Well, the movie ended, and after we left the theater I heard my dad ask "Who wanted to see that movie anyways? It was lame." We all started to go to the cars, and I, expecting to go to the Chinese buffet, started walking to my aunts car. I was quickly stopped and pulled into my dads car. I was freaking out, obviously because I had no idea what the fuck was going on. Dad then said "NO! YOU ARE NOT GOING TO GET CHINESE. WE ARE HAVING LASANGIA AT [insert fucking crazy insane bitchy girlfriends name that we were promised not to see a lot here]'s" Joe was really upset and asked why we couldn't go to the china buffet, and I did as well. I hate lasangia, and I obviously didn't want to go. Then, being the great person she is, my dads girlfriend said this; "Well, you know what? It's not a fucking punishment to fucking come to my house and eat the fucking food I made you, while you spend sometime with your dad. Its not like I'm torturing you." Joe then added that both he and I did not like lasangia at all, and we would feel sick eating it so we would rather go with the rest of our family to eat Chinese, like we were previously promised. No. We got yelled at and forced into the car. I got into the car and started bawling. I've cried 7 times in the past 4 days. I'm a pretty rational person, you can ask any of my friends, I'm almost always calm and collected mentally, but I lost it. I was wailing and crying and dad kept asking what was wrong, why I was so upset. He should already know. I screamed and yelled about how I felt, what I knew was wrong, why this was the most unfair, how I don't ask for much. He gave me a half assed lecture on how I need to respect him, and then I screamed that I wanted to kill myself. Frankly, at this point; I do. Meanwhile, Joe had been crying the whole time in the back seat, I had totally forgot he was there, and I feel so bad that he had to hear that. Then my dad told me how it was not okay to manipulate him by telling him that I wanted to commit suicide. I nearly jumped out of the car door, and we were on the highway. We finally got to his girlfriends house, we sat around doing nothing, his girlfriend lectured me for no reason on how I'm dumb and disrespectful and how I'm such a bitch, then she told me to eat. I ate, and we left. My dad saw her do this. So why the FUCK, is he still with her, why does he allow this? Christmas? This is fucking hell.
To be continued....
*Crying mother* "Byebye Emma... Joe... I love you..", "I love you too mom.... do we have to go?", "Yes, but it'll be over in a few days, it'll be alright."
After a long flight all day, my brother and I arrived in the RDU airport, and swiftly picked up by our father. Instead of staying at his terrifyingly mean girlfriends house (like this summer), we were then driven to our old house. All the beds and such were set up and we unpacked, cleaned and got settled in. Then the next day, dad actually became a dad, and set up the tree and outside lights for decorating and festive holiday cheer. This has never happened before. "Maybe he's changed for the better?" Joe asked me. I was skeptical, and with good reason. After this, though we were promised only very minimal visitation to his crazy, terrifying and bitchy girlfriends house, there we were. Then we had to have dinner with them. It wasn't that bad, because we went from their house to my aunts and I had space away from them, so they could do their own thing. That night I slept over with my cousins, aunt and uncle, and it was very enjoyable. The next day I woke up and had an awesome day with my aunt and female cousin. We got our nails done, and afterwards got several rounds of sushi. Most people think it's disgusting, but that's okay, the more raw salmon and rice for me, the better. It was delicious and awesome and I enjoyed myself immensely. In between these good times, though, were my dads constant restrictions and angry remarks, controlling comments, and his girlfriends way of telling me she thinks I'm a bitch and that I should die. "I'm the dad and I say this is the way to do this. I don't care if you don't like this, I want to so you have to!", and from his girlfriend; "So, you can't say Hi huh? Oh? You didn't hear me? Well thanks a lot. Hi EMMA. It's great to see you." Thank you terrifying crazy ass psycho girlfriend. I don't ever hate anyone, but if I had to pick, she would be on that list. After all, all I did was say nothing, because if I say anything at anytime I'm automatically disrespectful. Better not to say anything at all right? This was Christmas eve and as a Nordic custom, my fathers girlfriends family opens their presents. We were forced to go to their Christmas, so I brought presents. I got one for each, and we all eventually sat down around the tree. Because my dads girlfriend found it necessary, I handed out presents. I gave around 7 to her youngest daughter, 6 to her second daughter, 6 to her youngest son, and 3 to her oldest son, 4 to my father, 6 to her, 2 to my brother, and one, for me. The kids loved their presents from me, and I felt pretty cool, except for the fact my brother and I had less presents then my dad, and on top of that, I only got one. And the stuff my brother got was complete crap. He got a shock pen, and a drawing on old loose leaf paper, and I opened my one present, from my father, a drawing book and some pencils. Not what I wanted. At all. I was going to cry. As all the kids played with there presents, showing them off, Joe folded a paper airplane with the drawing and shocked himself with the pen as I awkwardly sketched. But that was okay, I thought, because tomorrows Christmas! I'm sure Santa has brought me something awesome right? And I've got to have more presents at home too, right?
The next morning, I arose and woke up my brother and dad. Dad cursed angrily upon my cheery wake up call and went outside to smoke a few. I heard Joe call from the living room and I came in. "Where are the presents?!" He asked, confused. We sat for a while, waiting for dad. He finally came back in and sat down. I asked him why there were the same amount of presents under the tree as last night. Two. One for me and one for Joe. I asked him why Santa hadn't come, and why he still ate the cookies and milk even though he didn't bring anything. Dad pointed out that he had filled our stockings, but you see, my dad had the bigger stocking and our stockings were hardly filled. So we got our stockings and then opened our two presents. I got a stupid design book I didn't want, and Joe got a thrift store book on guns that was 40 years out of date. Poor Joe didn't know what to make of this. I braved it one more time, and asked dad why Santa only brought candy, no presents. His response was: "Well, Santa didn't have the time or money, so he couldn't." Okay, great. You've just now pretty much said to your ten year old sons face that Santa fucking hates Me and him. Way to go dad. Then we went to see a movie. On Christmas. I didn't want to see a movie in the first place, but not only did we have to see a movie, it was a movie I did not want to see, and the only person in my family that wanted to see it was pretty much my dad. So I roughed it, knowing afterwards, from what I was told, I could enjoy a nice Christmas lunch with my family, at a local Chinese buffet. Well, the movie ended, and after we left the theater I heard my dad ask "Who wanted to see that movie anyways? It was lame." We all started to go to the cars, and I, expecting to go to the Chinese buffet, started walking to my aunts car. I was quickly stopped and pulled into my dads car. I was freaking out, obviously because I had no idea what the fuck was going on. Dad then said "NO! YOU ARE NOT GOING TO GET CHINESE. WE ARE HAVING LASANGIA AT [insert fucking crazy insane bitchy girlfriends name that we were promised not to see a lot here]'s" Joe was really upset and asked why we couldn't go to the china buffet, and I did as well. I hate lasangia, and I obviously didn't want to go. Then, being the great person she is, my dads girlfriend said this; "Well, you know what? It's not a fucking punishment to fucking come to my house and eat the fucking food I made you, while you spend sometime with your dad. Its not like I'm torturing you." Joe then added that both he and I did not like lasangia at all, and we would feel sick eating it so we would rather go with the rest of our family to eat Chinese, like we were previously promised. No. We got yelled at and forced into the car. I got into the car and started bawling. I've cried 7 times in the past 4 days. I'm a pretty rational person, you can ask any of my friends, I'm almost always calm and collected mentally, but I lost it. I was wailing and crying and dad kept asking what was wrong, why I was so upset. He should already know. I screamed and yelled about how I felt, what I knew was wrong, why this was the most unfair, how I don't ask for much. He gave me a half assed lecture on how I need to respect him, and then I screamed that I wanted to kill myself. Frankly, at this point; I do. Meanwhile, Joe had been crying the whole time in the back seat, I had totally forgot he was there, and I feel so bad that he had to hear that. Then my dad told me how it was not okay to manipulate him by telling him that I wanted to commit suicide. I nearly jumped out of the car door, and we were on the highway. We finally got to his girlfriends house, we sat around doing nothing, his girlfriend lectured me for no reason on how I'm dumb and disrespectful and how I'm such a bitch, then she told me to eat. I ate, and we left. My dad saw her do this. So why the FUCK, is he still with her, why does he allow this? Christmas? This is fucking hell.
To be continued....
Friday, December 16, 2011
Oh Jewelry Class, How I Love You So.....
Here I am, sitting in my 2nd hour jewelry class. It's like my favorite class because my teacher likes me enough that I can use my phone. So here I am... Blogging. I've made so many rings/bracelets/etc... and it's the last day before the weekend... Yay, testing monday and tuesday. I wish I could take jewelry next semester, but I can't. I really want to get 5th house study hall, so I'm dropping painting to finish up a credit I need. I'm probably going to be taking drivers ed online, which sounds cool to me :)!
Monday, December 12, 2011
Blah, Blah, and Blah.
So today was interesting because a girl who is always starting drama... Well, started drama, for like the third time with me. She came up to me in the hall, asked me if I knew a girl, then told me that my boyfriend and her had been making out. Later I asked my boyfriend and he laughed, and laughed, then said "Babe, I worship you, I want to spend every second I have with you. I want to marry you, and be with you forever, even beyond the grave and be happily ever after. Why in the fuck would I cheat on you?"
I stared at him, then the ground, then the sky, then back at the ground and I was like.... DERP. I had nothin'. He then added; "Also, I'm constantly either texting you or with you, so when would I have time to do that?"
I thought again, still nothin'. Later I asked the girl who was being accused, and she laughed and laughed and was like, "You guys are two of my really good friends, and no offence to him, but hes not my type, and besides that, I would never do that to you! You guys are so cute and who ever this girl is, shes obviously troubled, and needs some help."
Moral of this story: If you know your boyfriend wouldn't cheat, and you know the girl being accused of making out with your cheating boyfriend is a trustworthy person, laugh at the drama making jerk bag who has nothing better to do then to put you down, for being five million times more awesome then them.
<3 "My lying cheating boyfriend, do you like waking up at 4:30am, going out into the rain, just to cheat on me?", "Yes, yes I do. 4:30am is the best time to go out, into the rain, and make out with someone who I'm not attracted to in that way at all, my faithful and overly trusting girlfriend.", "Thought so you evil scheming boyfriend."
*Giggle, giggle, giggle*
That boy is so silly :)
I stared at him, then the ground, then the sky, then back at the ground and I was like.... DERP. I had nothin'. He then added; "Also, I'm constantly either texting you or with you, so when would I have time to do that?"
I thought again, still nothin'. Later I asked the girl who was being accused, and she laughed and laughed and was like, "You guys are two of my really good friends, and no offence to him, but hes not my type, and besides that, I would never do that to you! You guys are so cute and who ever this girl is, shes obviously troubled, and needs some help."
Moral of this story: If you know your boyfriend wouldn't cheat, and you know the girl being accused of making out with your cheating boyfriend is a trustworthy person, laugh at the drama making jerk bag who has nothing better to do then to put you down, for being five million times more awesome then them.
<3 "My lying cheating boyfriend, do you like waking up at 4:30am, going out into the rain, just to cheat on me?", "Yes, yes I do. 4:30am is the best time to go out, into the rain, and make out with someone who I'm not attracted to in that way at all, my faithful and overly trusting girlfriend.", "Thought so you evil scheming boyfriend."
*Giggle, giggle, giggle*
That boy is so silly :)
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Well today...
I woke up like, 30 minutes later then i was supposed to, which really annoys me. I was going to be dorky, and do my make up super pretty, but instead i did a quick and simple kinda gold-brown tone style. Suddenly- BAM! 6:20(am). I finished my make up and went down stairs, chugged a giant glass of chocolate soymilk and ran out the door. I hate rushing! Blah. School was okay, but after lunch time I was a bit upset about a lot of things, mostly family related, (mostly about my dad) and i started crying, right there, in the middle of an exam. Yeah, i know, dramatic. I try not to be dramatic or distress people, but i guess thats always what ends up happening. Then i went to my 6th hour, and a good friend of mine promptly saw what was wrong and let me cry it all out. After that i went to german club (WHICH IS THE BOMB) and made some paper clogs and drew names for secret santa, all the while we were (sadly) (attempting) to sing scilent night in german. It was sad in a cute way. After that my friend Chloes mom picture (obviously) Chloe, legend, and I up. As we were driving, Legend was debating whether or not to come along on the surprise "adventure" planned out for Chloes younger sister. See her hair is... terrible. Tangled, knotted, greesy... it's a bit of a disaster, so after taking Legend home (he decided not to come along), we arrived at this little, itty bitty kid hair cutting place intended for kids ages like... 2-6. Chloes sister is 10 and obviously embarrased. Chloes mom had planned out an appointment, but the hair cutters have decided walk-ins are more important, and Ive been sitting in this kinda odd creepy little kid hair cutting place, sitting next to Chloe and her little sister for the past 30 minutes. My personal bubble is starting to form. Someone save me.
Please?
Someone?
Please?
xoxo,
Emm's
Please?
Someone?
Please?
xoxo,
Emm's
Monday, November 28, 2011
Well, I'm not sure how to start this but...
☺♫♦♠♣♥♣♠♦♫☺
I guess an introduction would be best. My name is Emma, and I'm almost 16 years old. My parents are divorced and have been for about a year, and I used to live in North Carolina (NC), but now I live in Arizona (AZ). I'm kinda on the derpy side, and if you're totally clueless as to what "derpy" means, the more you read the blog, the more you'll probably understand, and use it to describe yourself (or a friend, family, random person, etc.)I have a lot of hobbies, and I guess that's only because I enjoy them and I'm surprisingly good at them. These hobbies include but are occasionally limited to; knitting, sewing, cooking, baking, cleaning, scrap-booking, singing, guitar, nail painting, make up stylist, hair cutter/stylist, babysitting, tutoring, drawing, painting, coloring, mosaic tile(ing?),writing, and jewelry- making.
I enjoy jewelry making so much in fact, that I have established a business that you can like on facebook at: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Emmas-Jewelry/232956506767815?ref=ts
And My blog page for those who are facebook-less: http://emmasjewelry.blogspot.com :)
I have a boyfriend, his name is Legend (yes, that's his real name, I checked, and he's just as derpy as I am, maybe a little bit more,) and he's one of the sweetest people I know. I love him so much and hope to continue to be with him forever~ (I know it sounds cheesy, but I'm cheesy, and it kinda is how I feel anyways sooo~) Yes, I know. You all roll you're eyes and sigh, then say "uggh, young love, someone should tell her it isn't going to work out!", but I know and I would rather not hear it for the 1 millionth time. :) We've been going out for about seven months now, and our anniversary is on the third of every month. Our one- year will be in may, and I have a feeling there will be quite a large celebration among my friend, him and I!
Right now my life has been a bit of a mess because of my father. Personally I believe him to be a very childish person for his age. Nothing is his fault, and nothing is his responsibility. All he has to do is go to work, pay the bills, and then he can sit outside, smoke a pack, and drink a million beers without a care in the world or a precaution to anyone's feelings. He's pretty much always been like that since I was a little kid and I tried to accept that fact and continue calling him my dad at a very young age (around 7 or 8), but it has been a struggle. He has always been around but never really "there" if you get what I'm saying. He's always telling me how he's been "trying, and trying" and that the only reason I have problems with him is because I'm "a teenage girl with a lot of irrational hormonal emotions, and I just need to stop seeing (my) moms side of things, and see that (he) was always there!" Sadly, every time I've explained to him that he was always there but never "there", he has no idea what I'm talking about and thinks I'm just being "a stupid, irrational, hormonal, and emotion teenage girl." Yes, sure I'm hormonal, and yes, I agree I have emotions; but, that does not mean they are irrational or stupid, in fact they are real, and hurt. Lately he's been trying to talk to me more, but I don't enjoy it because we always end up talking about stuff he likes, because the stuff I talk about isn't interesting or "cool with (his) friends." Yes, my father is a hipster. The definition of one. I do love him, but lately I really don't want to talk to him and I would just like my space, but he doesn't understand that, and believes this is an issue of respect. See, before, I didn't think highly of him, but I didn't think lowly of him, but suddenly he has been yelling and complaining about how I need to "RESPECT (my) FATHER!" and "GIVE (him) THE PROPER RESPECT (he) DESERVES!" And I've tried to tell him that he hasn't really earned my respect, and respect isn't free and that just like money, at a job you need to earn it.
WOAH. Ranting! I guess I must have needed to get that out of my system. If my father does end up seeing this (which there is a large chance he will), I'm just hoping, like all the other letters I've sent in the past, and all of the talks I've tried to have with him and all the phone calls I've made trying to explain how I feel, he might, very slightly, somewhere in his brain, click and understand where I'm coming from. That has yet to happen though, so I think I'll just sit back and wait for him to see this; freak out, tell all of his friends about how I need to respect him, tell his friends how it's my moms fault I'm so disrespectful, and get a phone call, where once again, he can lecture me on "respect" and "doing things you don't like to do" and I can finally loose my shit and blow up at him, hang up, and again, like always, cry because my dad isn't like a dad at all.
God I'm glad I moved away. I wasn't sure at first, but I'm afraid of change, and I'm so glad I'm out here, and not back there, and don't get me wrong, I love my family, but I just don't want to be near them, because almost everyone there, is crazy, and personally, I really don't want to turn out crazy.
This weekend has kind of sucked so far. Thanks-giving was okay all the way up until my dad called... we can only imagine what that was about. The next day was awesome, because derpily, Legend and I got confused and thought it was our 7th month anniversary, and we went on a big date to the zoo (which I might add was pretty frickin' awesome!) He and I were there from around 11(am) till maybe... 5(pm) and it was so fun! I really loved seeing all the animals, but my favorite out of all of the animals we saw that day was the cute little black bear! He was so darn cute!
C'mon! Who doesn't think that's cute? Hehe! I think it's sooooo cute. Can you tell? :D
Well I need to go now; but, I'm pretty sure I'll be posting from study hall tomorrow!
xoxo,
Emm's
I guess an introduction would be best. My name is Emma, and I'm almost 16 years old. My parents are divorced and have been for about a year, and I used to live in North Carolina (NC), but now I live in Arizona (AZ). I'm kinda on the derpy side, and if you're totally clueless as to what "derpy" means, the more you read the blog, the more you'll probably understand, and use it to describe yourself (or a friend, family, random person, etc.)I have a lot of hobbies, and I guess that's only because I enjoy them and I'm surprisingly good at them. These hobbies include but are occasionally limited to; knitting, sewing, cooking, baking, cleaning, scrap-booking, singing, guitar, nail painting, make up stylist, hair cutter/stylist, babysitting, tutoring, drawing, painting, coloring, mosaic tile(ing?),writing, and jewelry- making.
I enjoy jewelry making so much in fact, that I have established a business that you can like on facebook at: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Emmas-Jewelry/232956506767815?ref=ts
And My blog page for those who are facebook-less: http://emmasjewelry.blogspot.com :)
I have a boyfriend, his name is Legend (yes, that's his real name, I checked, and he's just as derpy as I am, maybe a little bit more,) and he's one of the sweetest people I know. I love him so much and hope to continue to be with him forever~ (I know it sounds cheesy, but I'm cheesy, and it kinda is how I feel anyways sooo~) Yes, I know. You all roll you're eyes and sigh, then say "uggh, young love, someone should tell her it isn't going to work out!", but I know and I would rather not hear it for the 1 millionth time. :) We've been going out for about seven months now, and our anniversary is on the third of every month. Our one- year will be in may, and I have a feeling there will be quite a large celebration among my friend, him and I!
Right now my life has been a bit of a mess because of my father. Personally I believe him to be a very childish person for his age. Nothing is his fault, and nothing is his responsibility. All he has to do is go to work, pay the bills, and then he can sit outside, smoke a pack, and drink a million beers without a care in the world or a precaution to anyone's feelings. He's pretty much always been like that since I was a little kid and I tried to accept that fact and continue calling him my dad at a very young age (around 7 or 8), but it has been a struggle. He has always been around but never really "there" if you get what I'm saying. He's always telling me how he's been "trying, and trying" and that the only reason I have problems with him is because I'm "a teenage girl with a lot of irrational hormonal emotions, and I just need to stop seeing (my) moms side of things, and see that (he) was always there!" Sadly, every time I've explained to him that he was always there but never "there", he has no idea what I'm talking about and thinks I'm just being "a stupid, irrational, hormonal, and emotion teenage girl." Yes, sure I'm hormonal, and yes, I agree I have emotions; but, that does not mean they are irrational or stupid, in fact they are real, and hurt. Lately he's been trying to talk to me more, but I don't enjoy it because we always end up talking about stuff he likes, because the stuff I talk about isn't interesting or "cool with (his) friends." Yes, my father is a hipster. The definition of one. I do love him, but lately I really don't want to talk to him and I would just like my space, but he doesn't understand that, and believes this is an issue of respect. See, before, I didn't think highly of him, but I didn't think lowly of him, but suddenly he has been yelling and complaining about how I need to "RESPECT (my) FATHER!" and "GIVE (him) THE PROPER RESPECT (he) DESERVES!" And I've tried to tell him that he hasn't really earned my respect, and respect isn't free and that just like money, at a job you need to earn it.
WOAH. Ranting! I guess I must have needed to get that out of my system. If my father does end up seeing this (which there is a large chance he will), I'm just hoping, like all the other letters I've sent in the past, and all of the talks I've tried to have with him and all the phone calls I've made trying to explain how I feel, he might, very slightly, somewhere in his brain, click and understand where I'm coming from. That has yet to happen though, so I think I'll just sit back and wait for him to see this; freak out, tell all of his friends about how I need to respect him, tell his friends how it's my moms fault I'm so disrespectful, and get a phone call, where once again, he can lecture me on "respect" and "doing things you don't like to do" and I can finally loose my shit and blow up at him, hang up, and again, like always, cry because my dad isn't like a dad at all.
God I'm glad I moved away. I wasn't sure at first, but I'm afraid of change, and I'm so glad I'm out here, and not back there, and don't get me wrong, I love my family, but I just don't want to be near them, because almost everyone there, is crazy, and personally, I really don't want to turn out crazy.
This weekend has kind of sucked so far. Thanks-giving was okay all the way up until my dad called... we can only imagine what that was about. The next day was awesome, because derpily, Legend and I got confused and thought it was our 7th month anniversary, and we went on a big date to the zoo (which I might add was pretty frickin' awesome!) He and I were there from around 11(am) till maybe... 5(pm) and it was so fun! I really loved seeing all the animals, but my favorite out of all of the animals we saw that day was the cute little black bear! He was so darn cute!
C'mon! Who doesn't think that's cute? Hehe! I think it's sooooo cute. Can you tell? :D
Well I need to go now; but, I'm pretty sure I'll be posting from study hall tomorrow!
xoxo,
Emm's
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)