Well.

Not exactly sure what to say. Really lately everything in my life has been like a roller coaster of uncertainty. Yay, being a teenager, right? My Christmas was pretty good, I got a lot of presents, gave some presents, spent time with my mom, her boyfriend, and my bother, which is better then visiting my dad and his girlfriend. I wish Michael (my boyfriend) had been talking to me, that would have made it better. As usual, I feel like I shouldn't be with Michael, like he and I don't fit together well, and that's upsetting. There are so many other guys who want to treat me well, and I don't care because I'm so hooked on trying to get Michael to treat me how I think I deserve. Maybe I'm unrealistic. Who knows? I'm a teenage girl, my emotions are always all over the place I guess. I really miss Michael. I haven't really had like a real conversation with him in a long time. He hasn't come over in a while, and I haven't really felt that connection with him in a while. I guess it's a phase. Who knows. Well there is my depressing teenager rant. I don't even think that many people read my blog anyways, so it doesn't really matter, haha. Well bye now!

Why Am I So Bad With Posts?

I'm really sorry I haven't posted in a while, I've been super busy. Junior year of high school is not fun, not one bit. I feel like shit cause I have a cold, and I'm worried because I don't wanna miss even one day, and I don't wanna get audited. High school sucks. Michael, the boy I am currently going out with, I love him to death, but I must say, all guys are the same, huh? I really love him a lot. I do, but after 4 months of dating, he dropped out romantically, which is definitely upsetting because that's part of the reason why I fell for him in the first place. Because of his lack of romance, and his need for solitude, I'm alone a lot of the time, which really upsets me because, and yes I admit this, I'm one of those annoying stalker girlfriends who constantly needs attention. I'm pretty constant with it though, so I'm a bit upset about the fact he's stopped reminding me I'm pretty and sweet and cute, etc. I mean, I know he thinks that, but I want that reassurance. He makes sure to reminds me he loves me, but never why he loves me, or how much. I mean, maybe I'm asking for too much or I'm high strung, but I really just want him to go back to being him. I feel like a dork blogging about my high school love life, and you know, I kind of am a dork, and that's okay. I mean, I'm a teenage girl, what do people expect? Well anyways, I explained how he is in ROTC, yes? Well there was a military ball last Friday that I went to with him. I got very dressed up and fancy, wore a very revealing and attractive dress, and he got me a corsage and it was great, at first. When we got there there was a dinner, announcements, stories, etc., I didn't mind. What I did mind is the fact he told me to be quiet, polite and courteous before hand, and he was sitting there screaming profanity and terrible inappropriate jokes like across the room with his buddies which I didn't understand and I felt terribly left out and confused. I sat there looking like a fool, and yes he paid lots of attention to me, but I still felt left out because all of these jokes, convos, etc., were being thrown around and I didn't get it at all. Afterwards a large group or ROTC kids, me and Michael all went to IHOP, and it was about 12am. We all fumbled around with the waiter trying to find a good seating arrangement. I was tired, and I still felt left out, and I sat there and ate with Michael and his buddies still confused, and lonely. It was a pretty confusing and kinda bad night. I mean, it was great because of him. He made it great, just everything else was just so much. Ugh. I feel dumb. So at school there's this rumor that I cheated on Michael with another kid I know and am friends with, Jack. Yes, Jack is cute, and sweet, treats me like a princess, etc., but he is no Michael, and I wouldn't trade, ever. I love Michael to pieces, and I have noooo idea where this rumor came from and it hasn't put a strain on Michael and I's relationship, it's ruined almost all of my friendships. Almost everyone I know like hates me now. All of my used-to-be-friends left, and at school it's just me and two or three other people. It's stupid. I don't even understand. The rumor is, is that I made out with Jack at a school dance, when in truth I danced with him once, hung out with my "date" Mitchel and danced the whole night with Alexis. It's ridiculous. I don't even know how the rumor got started cause jack was all over his ex all night and THEY were making out which made no sense. I'm still confused, but I guess people need to hate someone, and I guess that someone is me, huh? Wow, lots to say huh? I'm a miss chatty Cathy, huh? Anyways I might not post again for a while, but I always appreciate views, comments, followers, etc. I'm not gonna force you to, but I do enjoy it. Well goodbye everyone, and I hope your life is going much better!